I kept my name when I got married. I refuse to call it my maiden name. It is my name.
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Having people see you the way you want to be seen – the way you see yourself – is a privilege. Without it, every day is a battle to have your identity validated, a battle against erasure and for self-determination.
I had grown into my name, and it suited me. Trust, however, that had I found a better name along the way, I would have snapped it up in a heartbeat, and to hell with anyone who judged me for doing so.
I’m attached to my name because of the stories that come with it and because of the perspective they’ve given me on the world.
I became comfortable with my name, because I realized I could have easily been deprived of it.
Bruno Mars on why he stopped using his Puerto Rican father’s last name and took a stage name instead.