Dinesh D’Souza: Return of the GIFs

Previously on Days of Dinesh D’Souza’s Life:
Dinesh D’Souza: A Scandal in GIFS
Dinesh D’Souza: The ReGIFing

It’s been a while since we checked in on Dinesh D’Souza. What’s he been up to, you ask?

 GIF: Dinesh D'Souza assembling a "Flip-tree" plastic Christmas tree and turning on its lights.

Apparently, shilling for innovative plastic Christmas trees.

No, really.

They FLIP.

I somehow missed this when the video debuted because apparently I have no friends who love me and tell me such things.

GIF: Gong Hyo Jin as Tae Gong Shil in "Master's Sun." Holding back tears, she waves her right hand in a negative gesture in front of her face, then covers her mouth with that hand.

I don’t want to talk about it. It hurts too much.

 

From D’Souza’s endorsement: “I like artificial trees because they’re easy. But normally they’re not that easy, they take a lot of work to put up.”

GIF: President Obama making a bemused face during a debate with GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Words on the image read "WUT."

Who wrote this mess?

 

He continues: “Bruce is offering you $50 off for the tree, which is really good because then you can use the $50 to go order a couple of my books…Get the tree for Christmas…and a couple books by Dinesh D’Souza.”

GIF: Lim Ju Eun as Kim Dong Ah in "Wild Romance." She has a far off look on her face as she says "That's a very good idea."

But I digress – and neglect to mention altogether why we are checking in with Dinesh: He’s baaaaack. With more (alleged) shenanigans.

Look at me burying the lede. It’s pretty good. Wait for it…

GIF: A white and brown cat looks expectantly back and forth.

Dinesh done gone got himself in trouble with the law. He’s been indicted. On FEDERAL CHARGES. For allegedly committing election campaign finance fraud.

 

GIF: Nicki Minaj, seated, reels back and slides down in her chair.

 

What’s he accused of exactly? Well:

Dinesh D’Souza, a conservative commentator and best-selling author, has been indicted by a federal grand jury for arranging excessive campaign contributions to a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

According to an indictment made public on Thursday in federal court in Manhattan, D’Souza around August 2012 reimbursed people who he had directed to contribute $20,000 to the candidate’s campaign. – Reuters

GIF: Michael Jackson in the music video for "Thriller," eating popcorn and grinning.

It gets better. Remember how D’Souza was married and had a girlfriend/fianceé/who knows at the same time and that kind of blew up in this face? Well, dude (allegedly) managed to get both women to buy into this scheme:

Records show D’Souza gave $5,000 [to] the campaign in two separate donations both dated March 16, 2012. The records also show his then-wife, Dixie D’Souza, gave $5,000 to Long’s campaign in two separate donations on the same day.

D’Souza’s fiancee, Denise Odie Joseph, gave $15,000 to Long, according to the records. Joseph made a $10,000 donation to Long on Aug. 30, 2012. She gave another $5,000 to Long on Oct. 22, 2012. On May 3, 2013, the Long campaign gave Joseph a $5,000 refund.

Election laws limit the amount an individual can give a candidate to $2,500 for a primary and $2,500 for general election campaign for a total maximum donation of $5,000. – Talking Points Memo

GIF: Mr. Rogers and a guest on "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood," a Black woman, dance and clap. Caption reads:  "No one on the corner has swagga like us."

Welp. Of course the next question is: Did the candidate D’Souza to whom funneled illegal contributions win office? Did he actually see any returns on his illicit labor?

GIF: Steve Carrell as Michael Scott in "The Office," waving his hands vigorously as he shakes his head.

That’s right, not only did the candidate in question, lose…Her opponent – Senator Kristen Gillibrand – won 72% of the vote. SEVENTY TWO PERCENT.

GIF: a martial arts sparring match. The smaller opponent leaps in the air and takes down the larger opponent with an acrobatic flip.

Aaaaand her loss was entirely predictable:

 

GIF: Jim O'Heir as Jerry Gergich in Parks and Recreation. His face is very close to the camera as he laughs drunkenly.

How to describe how I and most of my Twitter feed reacted when the news of the indictment broke this evening? Hmm…

GIF: Yoon Si Yoon as Enrique Geum in "Flower Boy Next Door." He's looking quizzically at a manhwa and asking "What is this feeling?"

Oh, I know!

GIF: players from the Kansas University men's basketball team break into dance.

Schadenfreude.

Pure,

GIF: Characters from Parks and Recreation dancing wildly.

Unadulterated,

GIF: As a reporter interviews Kevin Garnett and Dwayne Wade, First Lady Michelle Obama dunks on a children's basketball hoop (held by Lebron James) in the background. She makes a triumphant face at the camera.

Schadenfreude.

GIF: a group of young Black men reel back in amused surprise.

Predictably, some conservative pundits see this as evidence of an Obama-led conspiracy:

GIF: Park Shin Hye as Go Dok Mi in "Flower Boy Next Door." She gives a quizzical, then skeptical look.

Meanwhile, Dinesh D’Souza apparently felt the need to share with his twitter followers that The Hollywood Reporter – that publication specifically – was covering his indictment:

 

This was a couple hours after he tweeted a New York Times article, with the claim that that the IRS is targeting Hollywood conservatives:

 

GIF: David Tennant as The Doctor in "Doctor Who." He's crying. Caption: "Why would you post something like that?!"

Nothing new, I guess: the past year has made it abundantly clear that D’Souza has absolutely zero shame or self-awareness.

As does his lawyer’s statement on the indictment. Highlights:

Mr. D’Souza did not act with any corrupt or criminal intent whatsoever.

GIF: Antonia Thomas as Alisha Bailey in "Misfits," giving major side-eye. Caption: "I sense fuckery"

It continues:

He and the candidate have been friends since their college days, and at worst, this was an act of misguided friendship by D’Souza.

GIF: A young person pretends to sneeze, and holds up a T as though it came out of his nose. Letters come across the image to spell out the word "BULLSHIT."

So, to recap, in a little over a year, Dinesh D’Souza has:

Been caught in a scandal (as defined by conservative evangelicals) where he has a fiancee and a wife at the same time…

GIF: Nelsan Ellis as Lafayette Reynolds in "True Blood," scratching his head and giving a very confused look.

Claimed he had no idea that being married and engaged at the same time was frowned upon by conservative Christians (or, oh, almost everyone)…

GIF: Kathy Bates in "American Horror Show," sitting in a rocking chair and doing some kind of thread work as she hisses "Lies!" Caption: "LIIIIIIIIES!"

Been sued for funneling funds investors gave him for his crappy racist movie to said fiancee…

GIF: "Merida" from Pixar's "Brave" makes a dismayed face as she double facepalms.

And been indicted for what sounds like one of the most doomed to fail plans to circumvent campaign finance law ever.

GIF: A gray cat sits on its hindpaws; it is holding its forepaws together and moving them up and down. Animated caption: "What the fuck is going on"

Dear Dinesh: I think the universe might be trying to send you a message.

GIF: Seo In Guk as Kang Woo in "Master's Sun." He flips off a nearby wall to knock an opponent to the ground.

Stop messing around.

 

GIF: a white cat is sitting in a box with a lid.  A gray cat hops its front paws on the lid and closes the white cat in the box.

Maybe take a little break from…everything?

 

GIF: So Ji Sub as Joo Joong Won in "Master's Sun." He points at someone off camera and then waves his hand over his face. Caption: "Get yourself together and take care of your face."

[Happy New Year, AWHers!]

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