Mark Driscoll’s “Daddy Christmas Tips”

Dalek Christmas tree

Like a fundamentalist Dalek, Mark Driscoll is here to exterminate all your Christmas cheer. (Image by xneurospasta, CC license).

Christmas is around the corner, which for Mark Driscoll, apparently means yet another opportunity to bully men into being just like him.  Driscoll, an extra unique complementarian snowflake about who’s certain to come up more on this blog, is the senior pastor and bully-in-chief of Mars Hill Church, a Seattle megachurch (and the biggest church in the city).  Driscoll’s confrontational and chauvinistic style of preaching has gotten him a lot of attention in the mainstream media, much more than most complementarian pastors, who usually fly under the radar.

So! Christmas in Driscoll-land. “Daddy” needs to have a holiday agenda for the family; godly leadership means telling people what to do and where to be all the time.  At least, that’s what leadership means for Driscoll, and funny enough, it turns out to be what God means by leadership, too!  Clearly that’s what it has to mean for everyone else.  Hence Driscoll’s “Daddy Christmas Tips” – some interesting ideas on how fathers should be running the show during the holidays:

Tip #1: Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?
Right off the bat we’re in weirdo land.  How do you “plan” for people to be loved?

Tip #6: Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?
Apparently mom doesn’t need to be a part of this decision.  Or maybe she just doesn’t have an opinion?  Thinking something different from her husband might be a sin, after all.

Tip #7: Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas date with his daughter(s). Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy Daddy-daughter date?
Tip #8: Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son(s). Dad, what are you and your son(s) going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?
We can’t call a dad’s special time with his son a “date” – clearly that would be inappropriately sexualizing.  Men don’t go on dates with each other, gross!  But dads can totally take their daughters on dates – there’s nothing inappropriate or creepy about that. (Hint: if a parent can only go on a “date” with a child of the “opposite” sex, um, you are sexualizing the relationship between that parent and child, not to mention being super heteronormative).  Also, there’s no way a real girl would ever want to do something “active, outdoors, and fun” with her dad.  Girls just want to be fancy – and real boys, obviously, don’t.  Because the activities you share with your children are entirely dependent on their genitalia, not on, you know, their actual opinions or interests.

Tip #9: Dad needs to help get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?
Because decorating the house is really mom’s job.

Tip #10: Dad needs to ensure there are some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, can you smell cookies and cider?
If you can’t smell cookies and cider, your wife is doing something wrong.  That kind of laziness cannot stand.  Better get on that, dad.

Whew.  Dad has a lot of things and people to stay on top of during the holidays!  But remember tip #4: Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?
I’m sure it’s really easy to both be constantly obsessing over whether or not you’re micromanaging the holidays and your family appropriately, and actually enjoy the holidays with your family.  Yea.

9 Comments

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  2. I just watched the youtube clip that you tweeted. I kept hoping it was going to turn out to be a clip from Saturday Night Live or something because it was so absurd. Are there people who take this guy seriously? Wow.

    (I grew up Roman Catholic in the 1960s and heard this kind of crap when I was growing up — but it’s kind of shocking to realize it’s still around.)

    • There’s a church of 10,000 people and thousands of people across the country who take this guy seriously. It’s amazing and terrifying. The really scary part is, in *general* terms, Driscoll is just making explicit something that a lot of people still believe, but don’t say in as many words, or even realize that they believe.

      Welcome to the blog and thanks for the comment!

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  4. If you all were not looking through your own “sexism” colored glasses, you might realize that what Driscoll, Piper and other Bible believing preachers are teaching is not sexist. They teach the Bible and in doing so they are pushing men to love and lead in their marriage and home like Jesus loved and led the church. Remember how Jesus loved His church? See Ephesians 5:22-33. If you knew that kind of loving leadership…you’d want nothing less.

    • Um….ok. Do you just troll the net looking for negative posts about the pastors you like, or did you pick this blog out especially? Just wondering.

      I know perfectly well what these men teach, and actually, I’ve experienced what they consider “loving leadership.” No thank you! Amazing to me how some Christians seem to think that the only reason anyone could ever disagree with them is willful ignorance. Hmm.

    • They are teaching *their view* of the Bible. Unless they are God, we cannot assume that they are teaching accurately. Put another way, when we assume our leaders are teaching accurately, we are idolizing them.

      Every Christian is directly responsible to God.

      (By the way, you might want to check out Ephesians 5:21. Because in the original Greek, it forms part of the same sentence with v. 22. But sometimes leaders leave it out of their teaching.)

  5. Whomever wrote this article suffers from serious delusions & bitterness. Men indeed need to plan & take an active role. Problems abound due to clueless fathers abandoning their role in lieu of career aspirations & other crutches. Children & wives need to feel secure under leadership from Godly men who are not afraid to lead.